Secret Desire
by Fire of Snow
Summary: A year after Terra had stated on numerous occasions that she "was not Terra" and left Beast Boy standing alone in the school halls that fateful day, Beast Boy begins to have mysterious/confusing dreams. But what for? Surely it doesn't mean..? BBRae Oneshot


**Disclaimer:**I don't own Teen Titans. If I did, I'd find a way for there to be another season :).

**Secret Desire**

Staring out into the darkness above him, a green skinned teenager with ruffled darker green hair was lying on the mattress of his bottom bunk. Crumpled together in a tight wad at the end of his bed, was his lime green blanket. Fitting snuggly around his lean body, were his white boxers with miniature blood red hearts randomly covering them. Chest bare, his hands were placed behind his head leisurely. However one thought kept nagging him, haunting him each time he dreamt and he couldn't help but wonder, why were his recent dreams suddenly fixated on one of his team mates?

Nearly a year ago, there was this girl who he had helped with personal problems and eventually grew to love her. One day, he knew he had to let her go, after all, things change, life moves on, and no matter how hard it could be hard to move on, often times it was for best. Ever since that fateful day when he knew he lost that blonde haired blue eyed girl, he couldn't stop dreaming about her until merely weeks ago.

Oh how he remembered that day like it was yesterday. "_Things change, Beast Boy," _turning around she continued with a hint of remorse, _" the girl you want me to be is only a memory." _Those words tore at his heart and at first he refused to belief her, but it didn't take until then – a full year later – for him to totally understand her words.

Chuckling in sad happiness, Beast Boy reached his left hand out and touched the soft fabric of the upper bunk's mattress for a few seconds before letting it gently fall back to his side. Yes, things in fact do change. The girl, Terra, had apparently wanted to change and he knew that he had to let Terra go and move on. In fact a few weeks ago his dreams had mysteriously turned from Terra, to his team mate Raven.

Confusion rippled throughout his mind as he began to recall his most recent dream, a dream of secret desire.

_In front of the Titan's Tower living room's television and computer screen was a couch with two teenagers actively playing a game. One of the teenagers with jet black hair, a white eyed mask, tight green spandex pants named Robin was playing a racing game against a half human cyborg twice his size named Cyborg. Both Cyborg and Robin were hunched over on the couch, staring with hunger and yearning to beat one another and laughing as the other one would make a mistake. _

_As he stood from the steps that led to the Titans' hallway, Beast Boy let his gaze wander from Robin and Cyborg's video game tirade to the other Titan sitting at the kitchen table to his right. She had pale grayish skin, raven colored hair that failed to reach her shoulders by about four inches and a dark bluish purple cloak that surrounded her body. Her name was Raven._

_Raven, facing Beast Boy, had her right hand wrapped around a small tea cup and in front of her, her left hand was pressed firmly against the book on the table. A smile placed upon his lips, Beast Boy couldn't help but think how beautiful Raven was when she concentrated on something or did anything really. In a quick motion, the green Titan made his way over to the table where she was sitting and watched her from the opposite end. _

"_Hey, Raven," Beast Boy's tone warm with playfulness. _

_Her only response was lifting her right hand up and turning the page in her book, keeping her eyes fixed on it in determination. _

"_When the light hits your hair, it makes your face glow beautifully," Beast Boy said is silent awe. In shock of what he had done, he quickly plastered his right hand over his mouth and in panic he watched Raven, expecting her to lash out at him. Ever so slowly, she lifted her eyes from her book and looked at Beast Boy in surprise. "I'm sorry," spoke Beast Boy with regret as he closed his eyes tight in fear. _

"_You really think that?" Not rushing himself, he opened his eyes and looked her in the eyes. Relaxing a little bit he found that she wasn't angry, but was really more surprised. Eyes shining, he swerved to the right of the table and stood right next her. Raven watched him carefully, with no hint of emotions in her eyes but perhaps gratitude. _

_As he looked down into Raven's face, he found himself lost in her purplish black eyes. At an unhurried pace, she let her left hand slide down the pages of the book until her hand reached her lap, causing the book to instantly slam shut. Releasing her cup so her other hand could slide in her lap, she seemingly stared back into Beast Boy's eyes with a look of warmth and perhaps affection. _

_Beast Boy couldn't tell what he was seeing in her face was accurate and before he knew it, he found himself leaning forward towards her face. What was coming over him? Why did he have this unbearably strong urge to kiss her? Would she reciprocate? At that point he found that he didn't care if she ended up smacking him. Ever so slowly as he got closer to her face, he noted a hint of surprise and fear flicker across her eyes for a heartbeat. Before he knew it... he was just a couple inches away from her unmoving face and everything around him stopped as if frozen in time. Then right before he moved any closer..._

The dream ended in a very abrupt fashion. With each passing dream of Raven, they got more and more intimate towards each other. On his bed, he flipped over to his right side so he could face his door that led to the hallway. Both arms extended in front of him, he found his fingers entwining with one another in a nervous act.

All his dreams had the same common goal, to kiss or have some form of physical contact with Raven and to make her happy. In all secrecy, he loved it when she thought his jokes were funny, cared about his well being and overall just loved his company. He couldn't lie to himself, he yearned to protect her, make her happy and just simply let himself love her.

He couldn't stand it any longer. Moving his legs over to the side of his bed, he sat on the edge and then found himself standing up. As he walked across his clothes and garbage strewn room, he walked over to his dresser, rummaging it for his reddish pink and black jumpsuit. After he put it on, he made his way to his door, put on his silver and black shoes, exited the room and began to walk down the halls. His shoes' echo was barely audible as he walked down the dark hallway.

For a second he wasn't sure where he was headed, but after several moments he found himself climbing the stairs to the top of Titans' Tower. Pushing through the doors to the roof, he thrust himself, like an acrobat, onto the smooth hard metallic surface of the Titan Tower roof. Not bothering to close the doors behind him, he kept walking until he was in the middle of the roof. After a few stunning seconds, the light difference blinded him and he couldn't move until his eyes had adjusted. In awe, he mentally noted how marvelously full the moon was as it shone directly above the city and ocean in between. The moon made a very luminescent glow outside the Tower, turning everything a glorious silver color.

Dropping his gaze from the moon, his eyes scanned the area in front of him, squinting as a result. A dark shadow of a person was sitting on the very edge of the Tower roof, seemingly watching the same moon as he. In a cautious motion he began to walk up behind the person and after he reached two yards away, he could see the outline of Raven's body and her cloak as it fluttered in the wind with so much tender.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Raven suddenly spoke in a monotone voice with a smidge of admiration. The unexpectedness of her voice and tone made him jump in surprise.

"Y-yeah it is," stuttered Beast Boy in nervousness as he began to laugh. Walking to her right, he sat down at the edge of the roof next to her, letting his legs dangle with hers. She didn't turn to look at him nor did she make any movement at all.

"It's been a year since," Raven began in a slight remorseful tone after a couple moments of silence.

"I know," Beast Boy interrupted with a small sigh, "but things change."

Raven nodded in understanding as she turned to face him, "Is that why you couldn't sleep?" Was there concern in her eyes or was he just imagining it?

In a teasing tone, Beast Boy replied with a grin, "I could ask you the same thing." For a brief moment, Raven's dark purple cloak brushed against Beast Boy's left cheek. The fabric of the cloak felt like a couple angelic feathers tickling his skin. At his remark, Raven's mouth curved into a small sinuous smile of amusement which as a result caused Beast Boy to smile internally and physically. Reluctance taking over their movements, they turned their attention back to the moon.

Almost absentmindedly, he turned his face to examine the side of Raven's slender body. She looked so perfect in the moonlight, almost like a gargoyle but prettier. Still smiling and letting his attention fall back to the moon, it was then that he knew the meaning of his recent dreams and pure bliss.

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****I hope you guys enjoyed this one shot and I'm very happy to have gotten back to my old Teen Titans roots as an author. To be honest, I've never written a BBRae story, let alone a one shot. Just to avoid misunderstandings, this is indeed a one shot. Again, thank you all for reading! :)**

**Sincerely,**

**CatGirl R and S Fan**


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